Just wondering if we speak the same language,
words fall heavy on my ears
mind rephrases it “don’t go, love you so.”
Heart warms up an embrace on the hearth.
You mean to say I’ve been wrong, I’m sure.
Being sorry, I feel more feminine.
More worthy than asking if you could change, for once.
Child, I carry your weight in me.
Barren as yet from all this love, I know one day I’ll be free.
Unless I leave details like your past catching up with you to the fates.
Unless I say no, now.
Unless, just once, I care less about matching my words to your understanding
and move outside the lines we drew
based on conditions we navigated like grenades,
but really they were never the threat we learned to fear.
Bad things happen,
but good things happen, too.
This I learned out
in the night, drink in hand, eyes watching.
I would go and carry back tales to inspire you,
go and come back for you.
If only I thought it would change,
if only I could imagine you would listen, no threats and
smiling. Your name a part of my story.
Your ghosts banished by passion.
Instead, step by step, I choose the story
for myself.
Kaitlin Sansoucie 