Crashing: Thoughts on a Bus

On the bus, I looked out the dirty window and wondered how many people out there wanted to survive themselves like they want to survive the world.

As I stared out the window wondering, a truck knocked into the bus three blocks from my stop. The truck driver got out and yelled at the bus driver. The bus driver threw his words back at him. The bus and passengers weren’t physically affected, but the truck was dented…

Fate said “you can go on, now.” So, I continued thinking: how many of these people out there would feel fear if their physical bodies were affected by a storm, a virus, or any kind of inconvenient circumstance that slowed their outward progress through days full of schedules and plans, not considering how painful their psychological and emotional lives are, anyway?

Many. Many would fight to protect their bodies with the hope of the future being better than the past. They would fight another to preserve their hope for a finer time, a time more like what they imagined when they were some little kid on a swing, staring up at the sky through new leaves in springtime. We fight our way through cities, over financial obstacles, through all kinds of material things -things relative to senses- because our spirits want a chance to fly in the tangible world. That was the promise of time after birth: physical gratification. Is it not so simple as existing and being well? Why not? What a pity binds us…   

Maybe it isn’t pitiful, though, that we seek such satisfaction on a surface level. We have bodies…why not expect something wonderful of them? Perhaps the thing worth concern is putting deep desires at the surface- forgetting we have depths, and, as such forgetting would have it, not honoring the needs of those depths. When a car hits another car and people inside both vehicles are robbed of the physical control of their existence, their natural reaction is to protect their desire to live, and that desire is not physical. That passion for survival, which is more severe than the  threat of death, is based in the soul. We fight for our souls, but do we love them between the external assaults brought on by the world of the senses? If not, we should start.

By any logic, the soul doesn’t care if its body dies. Bodies are a vehicle for lessons. Their end means an interruption in learning. By this mode of thinking, the desire for survival is entirely about wanting to learn what we can to make our depths open up and greet the light of day, the cool of night, the touch of fingers…the scent of lilacs and sounds that give us goosebumps of delight. Merging in and outside to our pleasure is the overwhelming aim we seek.

We can survive our physical world, mentally, emotionally, and philosophically by fighting less to survive in our bodies and more to live through our spirits.

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